What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
Last Updated: 02.07.2025 15:02
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
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Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
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Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
I always feel very tired after I do some exercises, even after a night's sleep. What's the problem?
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
What is your favourite colour and why?
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
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Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
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Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
What is one small habit that has transformed your life in unexpected ways?
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
Make Nazis afraid again!
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
TEXT:
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.